


All the things I didn't say

by fighterandall



Category: Jack West Jr Series - Matthew Reilly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3107480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fighterandall/pseuds/fighterandall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>А little more about the relationship of Jack and Zoe in the books. A lot of flashbacks. Some emotions, some angst and very little time. I just wanted to add some more of them to the story.</p><p>Unedited. Kind of chaotic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the things I didn't say

When Sky Monster finally picked them up they were almost numb from the freezing wind and snow and all the walking. Lilly was so cold at one point Jack picked her up and he and Zoe continued walking through the snow and as far from the tomb as possible knowing very well Jack's father, Wolf, would not just let them get away. They didn't know how much they had to go until Sky Monster could pick them up with "Halikarnas". 

As they walked, Zoe tried not to think or at least, to think only about the mission. But she knew very well that thinking about it would inevitably lead to the thoughts she did not want to dwell just now. Because years ago the mission became a big part of her life and it just continued to absorb it until everything outside it was just a time spent away from home - away from Australia, away from the team, from Lilly and Jack.

And speaking of Jack, that was kind of one of the things she definitely didn't want to dwell on now. It wasn't a secret for anybody she was in love with him. He, on the other hand, had never shown a lot. So until a few hours ago and especially t he past few weeks Zoe had desperately tried to conceal her feelings and keep her head in the game. Which was especially hard at that one moment when Lilly called Jack's phone and his father picked up to dress in cruel words her worst fears while they were stranded in the middle of the wildest and most cruel place on Earth. 

"Jack's dead, I killed him"

For a second the world had stopped spinning. She couldn't even console Lilly. Her mind a chaos. First there was denial - Jack had gone through a lot and survived - even hanging on a thread, but had survived. And if she believed in anything in the world, it was in Jack. It was as if the ground had disappeared below her feet. She had to find neeta, she had to protect Lilly on her own, maybe even raise her on her own - that, it case they survived the months that were to follow. And she never told him and that hurt a lot - knowing he had died without knowing how much she cared because fear stopped her. And now he was gone. It took a deep breath. Then another. Then a lot of chaos and actions she never looked upon as heroic, to snap her out of that state, but she was a soldier, she was trained to do her duty even if she wasn't psychically capable of it. So she went on and did it - protected Lilly, survived the maze, did whatever it took to get them out of there alive and did whatever it took to protect "Halikarnas" later. But if somebody had stopped for a second a looked into her eyes they'd see something missing. They say that if you look closely in a person's eyes you'd see into their soul. Maybe Jack had seen it, or maybe he had't - she had no way of knowing now, but if somebody took the liberty too look into her eyes then, he'd see all the pain a human soul can hold.  
Wrapping her arms around Jack when he finally got on the plane was a relief. Maybe she shouldn't have held him so closely in front of everybody and maybe she shouldn't have lost her self-control and cried on his shoulder, but at that time she hadn't really cared. All she knew was he was safe and close to her and had once again survived under impossible circumstances.

That evening she had fallen asleep at his office watching him work at his desk on the plane. She was holding Lilly who fell asleep on the couch to make her comfortable at first, but slowly, she had drifted off - feeling safe for the first time in what seemed forever. Little did she know that just a week later she'd feel the pain of losing him all over again.  
She was watching the feed, tension running through her body just as through everybody else's. Sea Ranger, the twins and Jack were making their way through the lost underground city under Lilly and Wizard's guidance but they were too far away when again he did something unbelievable to get to the spot in time. Her heart was beating heavy in her chest watching the Japanese soldier triumph with the sacred stone, ready to throw it in the deep pit. And just a second later Jack was there saving the day, saving the world, saving everybody else once again but sacrificing himself. She'd never admit it, but after Lilly fell asleep in her bed that night Zoe ended up in Jack's office after wondering around for half an hour. Standing on its doorstep she had to take a breath before going in. Only after taking a few steps in she'd realized she wasn't alone, that Wizard was there too.  
She remembered him looking at her with pity and her smiling sadly and shrugging. She'd gone through the same a few days ago and now she was going through it all over again and it just wasn't fair. But in this game of old and new worlds, lost stars and treasures and ancient and modern wars nothing was fair. "It's not fair" just seemed like a childish shout out to the Universe. A Universe that didn't care much for mankind as a whole so what was even left for it to care for a woman with a broken heart. The rest of the night she'd spent helping Wizard work on the next clues because Jack would want them to proceed. He'd never give up. 

And just a few hours later it turned out he hadn't done it again. And he wasn't going to do it now.

Lost in her memories and thoughts Zoe had left it to her body to carry her on but now she was back in the cold present she felt tired and numb. And her heart was aching again. She took a glimpse at Jack. Apparently his thoughts have led him somewhere else too, because he had a pained look that had nothing to do with him carrying Lilly and them running through the cold Mongolian prairie for God knows how long now.

Every next step took more of an effort for both of them and she was starting to fear for Lilly when Sky Monster finally found them. A few hours and a hot shower later Zoe went to see Lilly, who was sleeping soundly. Zoe gently stroked the girl's hair. She was hugging tightly her favorite stuffed toy and seemed calm.

\-------

She felt his presence before she turned towards the door of the small room to look at him. It struck her how tired and sad he looked. He nodded to her hesitantly, as if he didn't   
know if she would follow and she nodded, tucking Lilly in before closing the door quietly. He was waiting for her sitting on the coach in his office.

"It took a lot of persuading to get her to sleep." Jack finally said, nodding at the door "But she was too tired and devastated and she finally gave up"

Zoe nodded, looking at him more carefully now, not knowing how to proceed.

"Today left us all devastated" she finally whispered. Biting her lower lip nervously, she finally asked "How are you doing?"

Her hand ached to touch him and comfort him, although she was hurting too, but after what she'd heard earlier, she didn't know if he'd want her to do it.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, no words leaving his lips. His whole being was screaming with pain so she did the only thing she could - she hugged him. As surprising as it was, he let her. What's more, he hugged her back tightly. He didn't let it show, but she could feel his shaky breaths on the skin of her neck. She closed her eyes and just let herself get lost in the moment, let herself inhale the calmness that came with his presence and exhale at least part of the whole lot of pain they felt right now. When he pulled away they were both better and it could be felt in the atmosphere.

"He's going to pay, you know it, Jack. Your father's going to pay the price for everything he's done" she said and he nodded.

"Wizard would probably call it karma" a small smile found its way on Jack's lips and Zoe chuckled softly.

"Yeah, karma, faith, curse - he was probably going to remind us of some old saying by Aristotle or Plato about things going around and coming back around" she let herself smile too.

A comfortable silence fell upon them as Zoe let herself lean on the soft cushions behind her on the couch near him, but not too near. It was always like that with them - too close and at the same time - too far away. Someone had to take the step and show the other they can meet them halfway.

"Jack..."

"Zoe, about what Wizard said..."

They stopped and looked at each other.

"Please continue" she said, looking right into his eyes, shy smile appearing on her lips.

Jack looked at her for a long moment, as if considering if he should say what was on his mind, then, nodding, continued his thought.

"You've probably been wondering about what Max said - if it's true and why would I get cold feet about it" he let out a nervous laugh, his eyes avoiding hers.  
He looked up at her and their eyes crossed.

"He was telling the truth, I really was thinking about proposing. The ring was constantly with me and it's currently at the farm - if something's left out of it and Wolf's men hadn't ripped it completely apart."

"Then why didn't you say anything" Zoe asked softly.

Jack sighted and shrugged.

"Honestly? I don't know" he looked at her, trying to read her expression and she smiled, her eyes returning his look softly "You had to go back in Ireland for a top secret mission that was going to go on for God knows how long and I had a lot of stuff to sort out with my government and Lilly's adoption... everything was such a mess and I wanted it to be... better."

"Better? Better how that you and Lilly being there?" she asked with a smile. That caught him kind of off guard and for the first time in a lot of time Jack West Jr. was nervous and blushed a little.

"Oh, I don't know, take you on a nice fancy dinner, maybe even take Lilly with us, because she'd want to be there, or take you somewhere on a trip, that kind of better."

Zoe closed her eyes and bit her lip a little, still smiling.

"Jack" he'd averted his eyes from hers and when she called his name he looked at her again, because it was the nicest way someone had said it in a long time "There is nothing better than you and Lilly in my life and no fancy trips or dinners would ever be better."

He nodded and smiled. A little hesitantly, he took her hand in his. His fingers trailed her slender fingers - they didn't look like hands that hold guns on a daily basis, but he knew better - he knew they can be as strong as they can be gentle.

"In this case... when all this is over, if we get out of it alive and the planet is still going on its orbit around the sun, would you let me take you to dinner?"

Zoe smiled broadly, squeezing his hand a little.

"Yes. I'd really, really love to go out and have dinner with you."

\---------------------

When she came to her senses, she was hanging on chains into something that looked like a big tube and had no idea if Jack had won or lost the fight to his brother. They didn't have a lot of time, so at least they hadn't undressed them like the other prisoners. Zoe looked around, trying to contain her panic, but the oxygen mask was already on her face and she could see Alby and his mother in two of the other containers. Green water started to fill the tube and Zoe's heart started to beat wildly, her body throwing all her strength against the chains in desperate attempts of breaking away from them. It was all useless.

The door opened and Jack stepped in with the creepy russian at his side, who clearly looked happy, impressed and amused. He'd clearly had the show he wanted, because Jack looked beaten but undefeated. His eyes grew wide when he saw her hanging in the installation. Clearly, he hadn't expected that from their enemy. The water almost covered her head but her ears were still not covered and she couldn't hear his exact words because of the bubbling water, but she knew what he was saying - looking straight at her he was promising to rescue her. 

The Russian's smile made her shiver though. She couldn't hear him, but she could definitely read his lips and what he said made her heart skip a beat. How did he know about Dublin and that night?!

Desperate and unable to explain to Jack, Zoe dropped her eyes down. For the moments before he went on his way to find the next locations of the temples the last sacred stones had to be put on she saw the utter disappointment in his eyes. It made her want to scream with frustration but she couldn't. She could do nothing to stop Jack from walking away and as far as she knew him, no matter what happened with the world and with her, he would not forgive her for her betrayal...

Zoe was trying to breathe as slowly and as little as she could, but she could already feel the reduction in the levels of oxygen left in the tanks. That meant the 72 hour they all had left had nearly ran out. Most of it she spent drifting in and out of consciousness. By now time was moving really slow, but it seemed the less air she had, the faster the minutes flew by. It was as if the time was laughing in their faces. She knew perfectly well nobody from the team knew the Russian had left his secret base and left them to die and besides, they had to save the world from him. They probably thought that they would put the final sacred stone and return for them. Too bad the stone had to be put in its place around 20 minutes from that moment and then they had to go through the system of traps to get out of the top, get on a plane and come back here which would take them about maybe 5 hours... according to her calculations they had less than an hour left if they used as little oxygen as possible.

Minutes went by. The lack of oxygen was starting to affect her brain and Zoe started thinking about the past, all the missed opportunities and mistakes she's made. She regretted one thing and hated herself for one mistake...

Her mind was starting to play tricks on her. Black spots were dancing all around in front of her eyes. She thought she saw some movement outside the glass, but it stopped, so she thought she had hallucinated. Past and present blended in one in her mind and she smiled at a fond memory of a morning in Jack's farm, drinking coffee on the front porch and laughing with Jack at a joke he's made. Smiling at him fondly when finding him asleep over a book on the couch...

A loud bang makes her try to come to her senses, but she doesn't have to strength to. At this point the once strong woman who fought neeta and participated in two missions for saving the Earth had lost all will to life. She closed her eyes, ready to meet her final breaths.

But somebody thought differently. Suddenly she felt cold - very cold. Almost like she was walking through the Mongolian step with Jack and Lilly all over again. Somebody lifted her up and she heard through all the water in her ears a familiar voice calling her name. She whimpered as her hands were put down - so far they had to hold her body for a long time. Her first breath without the mask made her lungs ache, but she couldn't bring herself to breathe in again. It was as if her body had given up, while her brain was screaming for it to try. The last thing she remembered was somebody trying to put another mask on her face and her trying to fight them off with her last strength. Then all was black. Either the world had ended or she was leaving it.

\-----

When she woke up she felt disorientated it took her a few seconds to remember what happended. They were still in the Russian's residence, but in another room, far from the dungeons and the trophy room. Pooh was talking with Stretch nearby - Stretch laying in a bed a little pale, but smiling. 

"Hey, Zoe's awake" the ex-Mossad agent exclaimed as soon as his eyes drifted in her direction. She tried to put on a smile on her face and mask her shock when Pooh turned around and she saw the bandage on his eye.

In a matter of an hour they walked her through everything - from them finding all the clues and Jack puzzling the facts together to the big fights and her Irish commander confessing to things he really shouldn't have in front of Jack - a topic Zoe really preferred to skip. They also told her he's going to be there soon with Lilly - the whole team was here, except those, who lost their lives in the mission. Zoe smiled and laughed at the jokes of the twins and talked about history among a lot of other things with the others, but couldn't help but be nervous about the moment she and Jack were going to meet again.

\-----

On the way to the Russian's base Lilly turned towards Jack seriously.

"What are you going to do?" her child eyes insistent on getting an answer.

"Do with what?" Jack asked.

"With who. With Zoe" the girl saw that Jack tensed up "Dad, I heard the story and you heard it too. It wasn't Zoe's fault." her tone was almost accusing him for even thinking about it.

Jack sighted. As a matter of fact he had thought about him seeing Zoe from the moment he contacted the twins and Pooh just after his final adventure at the top to make sure they got to their kidnapped friends in time. During that phone call he had realized the same as Lilly. What's more, he realized he always knew it, it just took a little time for his mind to rationalize and think over everything. So now he knew exactly what he was going to do.

"I know it was not, kiddo." he smiled "But what's going to happen doesn't depend on me alone."

Jack didn't see Lilly smile. The little girl had no doubts about her two favorite people making up.

\------------------------

They say if you look through a person's eyes you can take a glimpse at their soul. A whole minute went before they spoke. He had come straight to her - everybody else could wait.

Finally, he softly said:

"Hi"

Zoe looked right at him, ready to try to explain, but he stopped her. The words he said almost made her cry, so she kissed him. Kissed him the way she had thought about a lot of times and dreamed even more times than she'd thought about. Kissing him felt exactly like she thought it would - it felt like home.

\-------------

The dinner was wonderful. Lilly was a ecstatic and helped Zoe with choosing the dress - a simple elegant blue dress that fit all of Zoe's curves without showing way too much and complemented her Irish beauty. Her hair had grown almost to her shoulders, so with the girl's help they stylized it nicely. When they finished the usually stunning Zoe was breathtaking. And so it seemed if they had to make their assumptions from Jack's look when he saw her coming down the stairs for them to go.

Lilly chuckled, watching them go.

"Have fun" she had almost shouted teasingly as they closed the door which made both Zoe and Jack blush a little.

Surprisingly, he didn't propose to her in the restaurant or on their walk later in the city, but somewhere closer to home. Jack West Jr. asked Zoe to marry him close to their home under the starry sky and made her the only promise he possibly could - that he would be faithful and hers until the end of the world.

The wedding was held just a few months later in a really tight circle - and it wasn't like they needed anybody else but their immediate family - a family they got thirteen years ago as a work project. 

 

They say if you look through the eyes of a person you see their soul, but if someone took a close look in Jack and Zoe's eyes that day, they'd see all the happiness and love there can possibly be.


End file.
